I answer a lot of questions on Quora about relationships. I've answered more than a few on how do you know you are in love. So here I share how love looks for me:
Sharleen: “Are you Jewish?”
Me: “That depends. How Jewish are You?”
Sharleen: “Well, both of my parents are Jewish.”
Me: “I guess I'm not Jewish enough for You then.”
I suppose we knew in an instant where this might lead. While we've come a long way since then, some things don't change. I still want to call you a hundred times a day. You are still my best friend and the person I most want and love to play with.
You generate Love and Care and Beauty without thinking about it. It is who you are. You are the instant mother to a whole troupe of Lone Soldiers. You are the daughter who shifts everything in your life so you can go to a doctor's appointment with your mother in Jerusalem. You are the Mom who becomes an English teacher because heck, the school needs one. You are the Awesome Mom who has gotten up a thousand times to cook in the morning so that your kids have a solid breakfast and a proper lunch. You can't help but welcome Shabbat with meals fit for royalty.
You don't do anything in half measures. If you're going to make a hat, well cashmere it is. If you want to give someone jewelry, you make it yourself. You give people their smile back, giving them back a piece of themselves. You've heard of pre-made food, but that's not your style. It bothers you if it's not your own Challah on the table. Your food is the best, your kiddushes above and over and for everyone you can think to invite. Your house is the warmest.
You believe in people. We say that the only thing a child needs is to know his parent has his back. Our kids know that, without reserve. You have read all seven Harry Potter books to your children three times, in addition to many, many other books. You show up whenever your children have an event or a need, a new belt in Judo, a project day, another parent for the trip. You show your children how to be children, sometimes to their chagrin. You dance harder. You've been the fourth for four-square. You've played enough games of Monopoly to last you a lifetime, and yet you're still up for a game when your children call.
You've produced more Landmark programs than we can remember. You have touched literally thousands of lives. You have given people new leases on life, new relationships, a new space to be with that which is important in their lives. You have generated, again, and again, and again, your relationship with your mother, with your sister, and with the people you work and live with. You listen for what's important, and you bring that. You're a Giant, and you never think it's enough.
It's said that what distinguishes a Navy Seal is that when he has given all he has, and can't move another muscle, if a buddy is in need, he finds what he needs to keep going. You'd have made a damned fine Navy Seal.
And You continue to bring your Goofy Smile. That was our first moment, and I forget it sometimes. I don't always give you the space to smile like that, but it's that smile, and your faith in me, especially when I so often lack the faith in myself, that has made our life together possible.
Thank You for staying around so that I can Choose You, over and over again, so that I can look at my wife and partner, who seems to get sexier every time I look at her, and have something to wake up for every morning.
You're amazing. At some level you get that. My blessing for you is that you should be present to that every day of your life. You should get the gift you are to the world, and have the freedom to always let that shine.
“I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
Thank You for being the person who is constantly willing to generate the rest of your life with me. It's an honor and a privilege to hold that space.